Tuesday, January 31, 2006
recently, i've realised that my life hasn't been of its best. things just seem to be tumbling downhill. i know the reason why, but i never acknowledged it. but now i know i need to.

i cannot stand on my own, i need GOD.

i tasted what it was like to live a life without God, and let me tell you it sucks. real bad. a life without God, is empty. filled with no purpose, or rather you strive for meaningless things. you are alone to face the harshness of the world. everything seems to go wrong and you can change nothing about it. and then you begin to wonder, what am i doing here? why is everyone smiling and having fun when i feel all crapped up. and all the questions just keep coming in and you just don't have the answers.

i haven't been treating God the way i should be. i haven't given Him the respect and attention He deserves. and i feel ashamed to say that He hasn't been my first priority even when i say that He is. i've been taking Him forgrantted, thinking that "yeah, God will understand" and yes He does but that doesn't make it right. i haven't been spending time with Him, occasionally i just say a short prayer while i'm walking to someplace or about to do something i need His help in. i don't even finish my prayer before falling asleep at night and if i even do my quiet time i spend all but five minutes to do it. i am guilty of so much.

and today, God, i want to tell you that i need you.

and i don't care what anyone thinks of me after this post and what anyone thinks of this post as well.

i'm taking a step of faith and saying that i'm not ashamed of God, and i'm proud to be a Christian.
and i know that tomorrow is going to be better.

all i need is you